Where is Fall?

I've been hearing that it's out there somewhere, but it hasn't made it to Florida yet. Someone must have hijacked it along the way. Bet it stopped off in Nashville for a visit to Graceland. I miss the fall leaves in a riot of color further north. That wonderful smell of burning leaves and sweater weather for the local High School Friday night football games. Don't get me wrong, beaches are nice when they aren't blowing away with hurricanes, but there is something special about fall in the north that just plain escapes us down here in the tropics.

Need I mention Christmas? Santa in shorts and palm trees decorated with lights just doesn't get it with me. Give me some old fashioned snowflakes falling on Christmas Eve and I'm happy. The boats on the Gulf decorated in mutlticolored lights and parading along the coastline are beautiful but they can't hold a candle to white powdery snow falling quietly and the satisfying crunch of snow as you walk through a drift that is still pristine from an overnight snow. After all, Santa has runners on his sled, not inline skates!!

Enough ranting for this morning. I will just settle for a change in the air and to be able to turn off the A/C and open the windows. Is that asking too much???!!!

Comic Art

An FYI...check out J. Scott Campbell's site for some wonderful artwork. If you aren't familiar with his work, among other things he did the Dangergirl series as well as run of covers on both 'G.I. JOE' and 'The Amazing Spider-Man'. He is currently working on his new creator owned comic book series entitled 'WILDSIDERZ' with his 'Danger Girl' writing partner Andy Hartnell. The book centers around a teenage cast that is empowered with high-tech, holographic shells around portions of their body allowing them tho mimic the characteristics of the animal kingdom. His artwork is really wonderful.

I've been working on producing some cartoon characters for a series. Since I'm just getting started, you are allowed to laugh but not too loudly. At this point they were all done in Photoshop but plans are afoot to model them in 3D also. We have "Pinky", "Hobert" and "Tippy" respectively.

Thought for the Day

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why's it still #2?

Get me a towel

It's rainy here and has been for the past two weeks. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to bring down any wrath upon us by complaining about the weather when we haven't had our next hurricane yet but I'm getting tired of wet overgrown grass and moss growing up my north side.

Frogs are having tadpoles in the drainage ditch out by the road and a nightly chorus of "Jeremiah was a Bullfrog" is making me cranky. By the way...here are some frog facts that will keep you awake at night.

Frogs with long tongues go by the "see it, snap at it" technique of feeding. Toads, on the other hand, like the firebellied toads, have tiny tongues and have to snap at their food using their mouth. They often will stalk their food, much like a cat...creeping up to it and then just as dinner is about to take off, they will *SNAP* and eat their meal!
DID YOU KNOW: When a frog swallows a meal, his bulgy eyeballs will close and go down into his head! This is because the eyeballs apply pressure and actually push a frog's meal down his throat! *GULP*

The Surinam toads are well known for their weird brooding habits.They mate in the water, and as the eggs are released the male fertalizes them and presses them to the back of the female. In the next several hours, the skin grows around the eggs to enclose them in a cyst with a horny lid.After about 80 days, the eggs develop, and the young emerge out of the back of this toad as a bunch of tiny froglets!

If that doesn't give you nightmares, nothing will. There will be a test tomorrow. *smirk*

Jimmy Carter Dessert just for Sis

I can't refuse her anything so here it is... (get some bigger Levi's next time you're at Wal-Mart)

JIMMY CARTER DESSERT Yield: 10 servings

1 1/2 c Chopped peanuts; divided
1 c Flour
1/2 c Butter or margarine
8 oz Cream cheese; softened
12 oz Whipped topping
1 c Confectioners' sugar
1/2 c Creamy peanut butter
1 sm Pk chocolate instant pudding
1 sm Pk vanilla instant pudding
2 1/2 c Milk
1 c Chocolate syrup

Crust: Mix 1 C peanuts with 1 C flour and the softened stick of butter or margarine. Blend together and press in 13x9" pan. Bake for 20 minutes at 300~. Cool.

1st Layer-Cream the cream cheese with the peanut butter and 1 C confectioners' sugar with electric mixer. Blend in 1 C whilled topping with a spoon. Spread on cooled crust carefully.

2nd Layer-Blend instand puddings into cold milk. Spread on top of first layer.

3rd Layer-Spread remaining whipped toppping on top of 2nd layer.

4th Layer-Drizzle chocolate syrup on top of whipped topping.

5th Layer-Sprinkle with remaining half cup chopped peanuts.

Freeze. Remove from freezer 1 hour before serving. Refrigerate or refreeze leftovers.

Bad News-Good News Friday

It's a normal day here on the Gulf coast of Florida. We have our share of good and bad news as always. But this week's bad news has me down. I was hit this morning with blazing headlines that shouted "Soybean Rust Threatens Crops!" I've had just about enough. This one may push me over the edge. It went on...

"Soybean rust is an airborne fungus that originated from South America. It made its way to Florida, riding on hurricane force winds. Researchers are trying to find a way to eliminate the rust before it wipes out the cash crop. You may not notice a shortage of soybean products at the grocery store now, but if the rust gains a foothold here in America, many products including baby formula may get expensive, or worse, difficult to find. Soybean rust doesn't just affect soy beans. It can also kill other crops like southern peas and string beans."

It's bad enough that I may not get my daily dose of natural estrogen, but taking the formula out of the mouths of babies is pushing it over the edge. Then I find that my southern peas and string beans are on the way out. No more field peas and string beans with bacon. I'm heading back to bed.

On the flipside, a ray of sunshine. Local officials have discovered a Peanut Surplus! I can't tell you how happy I am to know that I don't have to throw away my recipe for "Jimmy Carter Dessert". Life can toss you a glass of lemonade once in awhile.

Thought for the Day

Some people are like slinkys-Not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs."

Thought for the Day

I worry about why the Iron Chef never fixes burgers & fries and why I never see grits and ham with red eye gravy on the menu. I'm shouting prejudice!

"REDNECK CHALLENGE"

This isn't mine, but I felt it worth putting out there for all of the Yankees among us. You know who you are...

NORTH VS SOUTH
"REDNECK CHALLENGE"

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound possum.

2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard?
A) '65 Ford Fairlane
B) '69 Chevrolet Chevelle
C) '64 Pontiac GTO

3. If your uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are required to condense the product?

4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw which operates at 2700 RPM. The density of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweiser's will be drunk before the trees are cut down?

5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the percentage decrease in the ozone layer?

6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?

7. A man owns a Tennessee house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his grown children place a mobile home on the man's land and still have enough property for their electric appliances to sit out front?

8. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it will strike a vehicle with a muffler?

9. A coal mine operates a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area. The mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of the 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked during the shift?

10. At a reduction in the gene pool variability rate of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town which has been bypassed by the Interstate to breed a country-western singer?

I'll bet that you thought this test was going to be easy. It's okay if you didn't do all that well. As an added bonus for taking the "REDNECK CHALLENGE", here's some Southerly advice that may come in handy down the road a piece... Next time you are too drunk to drive, walk to the nearest pizza shop and place an order. When they go to deliver it, catch a ride home with them.

Watch Your Fingers

I came to the conclusion recently that Gabby, my parrot, is in menopause. She's been permanently attached to my side for the past 14 years and I've never known a time when she wasn't in permanent PMS. The day that I bought her from a well known breeder outside of Austin lives in my mind as one of my better moments. (That is, until the ride home. ) Featherless with just a few Q-tipped appendages poking out of her tiny body that would soon turn into gorgeous shimmering grey feathers, she seemed so sweet and helpless. I had been handfeeding my own birds for some time and foolishly couldn't wait to get her home and into her new surroundings. Armed with a large cardboard box filled with fluffy towels and a bag of formula with mixing instructions from the breeder, I got us both settled in the car and started the hour long journey home.

Less than a mile down the road I turned the radio down to listen to the motor. That's all I needed, car trouble on a Texas highway with no visible habitation for the next 10 miles. Was that the motor? A growling noise softly filled the air. The car seemed to be working okay, at least it was still moving forward. My elbow bumped the box in the seat next to me and the menacing noise raised a decible. What in the heck???!! I reached down with one hand and slowly lifted a flap on the box. The little wad of skin and Q-tips who had seemed so sweet and helpless had transformed into a snarling minature Tazmanian Devil. "Hey" I shouted, "Don't tell me your troubles, I'm trying to drive here!" I reached down to reassure her and she lunged at my fingers. Okay, I'm not a novice here. I've raised cockatiels, parakeets and lovebirds. But nothing prepared me for the Grey from Hell.

An hour later we reached home and as I deposited her in her new surroundings, my son said, "Mom, are you sure you got a baby?" A withering look sent him outside to contemplate the error of his ways. A month later, Gabby was still in PMS only louder. Don't get me wrong, her days were all fun and frolic to her. She loved to sucker you in with a sweet look and then lunge like a demented avian whistle blower who's out to get revenge for our killing the rainforests. We've been through the terrible twos (you don't want to know) and are now in teenage years in parrot land. I think menopause hit early. Devious to a fault, she will sucker in even the most fearful of guests with a sweet look, an "I love you" and a dropped head for petting only to lunge at the final moment that their fingers reach out to tear them limb from limb. She has the gall to laugh uproariously when they jump and yell. That's Gabby. Today she is quietly muttering about the dog and the birds she sees swooping across the back yard. I know what she is planning. I hope the dog has health insurance.

Missing In Action

Something's been nagging at me lately and I couldn't put my finger on it. Finally it surfaced. Where's Michael? It's been so long since I've heard anything from him and I miss that quasi gravely voice. So I did a search like any good internet girl should and found that he's still out there. Seems he's been traveling the UK, Sweden, Denmark, Iceland and now the east coast of the good ol' US. His new album made it to my music list.

Promo
"In his new album, VINTAGE, Bolton turns to the pop standards of the 1940's, 50's and 60's for his twenty-second album. With such legendary songs as "All The Way", "A Kiss To Build A Dream On", "The Very Thought of You", "When I Fall in Love" and "Smile", Bolton brings to life the essence of pop music, and opens the genius of such renowned songwriters as George and Ira Gershwin, Sammy Cahn, and Marilyn & Alan Bergman & Michele Legrand to today's audiences."

Okay Michael, how about some blues for us 6th Street hippies?

Storewide Sale!

Finally! Someone with the sense to capitalize on an everyday occurrence. How many have given them up for nada, nothing, zilch. At least this guy has the sense to attempt to reap a little income during the process. I'm in the process of packaging my fantasies but I can't find a big enough box.

Now On Sale

Question of the Day

What do you carry in the glove compartment of your vehicle?

The Imate computer mirror

The imate computer mirror makes your work environment user friendly. Don't be stuck in a corner again! With the imate's wide-angle view, you can see everything around you - your work-mates, your visitors, the view behind you... and anyone approaching from behind! And you can now work on sensitive documents in privacy. Not only does it make you feel good, using the imate computer mirror also helps you to reduce eye strain.

Okay, I have to have one of these. I think it would be great for wearing around your neck to see the guys take shots of your backside as you walk away so you can turn quickly and give them the raspberry. You can buy me one for Christmas if you like...I accept all gifts graciously.

http://www.imate.com.au/benefits.html

With A Little Help...

We can't start things out without a tribute to my favorite singer. He hits you where you live and doesn't stop there. A favorite for years, he will always top my charts. Sing it to me Joe.




Joe Cocker comes from a working class district of Sheffield, and still often visits his parents' gray stone house when he returns to England. On-stage, the 27-year-old blues singer is hyper exuberant. Off it, he is cool and withdrawn. After starting out as an unsuccessful pop singer (working under the name (Vance Arnold), Joe Cocker found his niche singing rock and soul in the pubs of England with his superb backing group, the Grease Band. He hit number one in the U.K. in November 1968 with his version of the Beatles' "A Little Help From My Friends." His career really took off after he sang that song at the Woodstock festival in August 1969.

A second British hit came with a version of Leon Russell's "Delta Lady" in the fall of 1969 (by then, Russell was Cocker's musical director) and both of his albums, With a Little Help From My Friends (April 1969) and Joe Cocker! (November 1969), went gold in America. In 1970, his cover of the Box Top's hit "The Letter" became his first U.S. Top Ten. Cocker's first peak of success came when Russell organized the "Mad Dogs & Englishmen" tour of 1970, featuring Cocker and over 40 others, and resulting in a third gold album and a concert film. Subsequent efforts were less popular, and problems with alcohol (both on-stage and off-) reduced Cocker's once-powerful voice to a croaking rasp. But he returned to the U.S. Top Ten with the romantic ballad "You Are So Beautiful" in 1975 and topped the charts in a duet wit Jennifer Warnes on "Up Where We Belong," the theme from the 1982 film An Officer and a Gentleman.

He has survived, still charting into the '90s, albeit with less frequency than he did in the '70s and '80s. He also continued to work throughout the new millennium. No Ordinary World was his first release since 1997's Across from Midnight. Respect Yourself appeared in 2002, and the covers album Heart & Soul followed in 2004.